Contra: Hardcorps

Developer: Konami
Publisher:  Konami

Holy cow this game is amazing! I had heard some people saying it wasn't quite as good as previous Contra games, mostly due to an unbalanced difficulty and there being simply too much stuff on the screen. Well, I wholeheartedly disagree! This is in my opinion the best classic contra game I have ever played!

It's like the developers deconstructed Contra 3: The Alien Wars, took out what didn't work like the overhead mode 7 stages (yes, I know the Genesis wasn't technically capable of doing those anyway), kept what DID to add everything else they could think of! 

You can now choose between four characters, but these aren't just skins, each character has a different arsenal, you'll also run across branching paths, these will change the levels you play, the ending and even the final boss with a total of six endings! That's just a ton of content for a 16 bit Contra game, hell, it's a ton of content for any Contra game but the craziness doesn't stop there, there's a secret area on level 3 where you get to fight a robotic alien version of Simon Belmont from Castlevania and if you beat him along with two extra bosses you're propelled into pre-historic times and become the king of the apes with your very own ape queen! I swear I did not make this up. Hell if you do this as Sheena she STILL marries a female ape (could she be the first lesbian character in gaming?). 

You also get a storyline as told by either briefings before each mission or a short cutscene at the beginning/end of each mission. I understand these were needed for the branching paths feature, but I wish they gave you an option to skip the dialog.

I've talked so much about the game already but I haven't even gotten into the gameplay itself, which is in a word: a-freaking-mazing! It's like Contra 3 on steroids, no matter where you are there's always a ton of enemies trying to kill you, but luckily they all die with one hit, when you do get stronger foes the game is kind enough to keep them at a manageable amount. 

Much like Contra 3, you can switch between your weapons at any time, but instead of two weapon slots you now get 4. This time however, you can't jump and use two of them at the same time like you could in its SNES counterpart, you do however get a slide move, which makes you invulnerable for the second or two it takes to finish the move. Lastly, the title is chalk full with bosses and mini bosses so it's generally a good idea to stockpile as many weapons and bombs as you can for these.

Whereas Contra 3 went for a more realistic art-style, Harcorps adopts a more cartoony (or should I say anime?) style. Everything is very colorful and exaggerated, the enemies are often very goofy looking, in this regard it doesn't actually feel like a Contra game. Despite that the art-style works very well. I especially love the explosions, they just keep going, in other games, when you kill a big baddy you see random ball of fire popping up, here it's like they dance around the enemy circling it, stretching and compressing, it's crazy. 

You're also treated to some very impressive 3D effects, my favorite being the bike boss fight where you're running down a quasi-3D road. The only issue I had with the graphics were the relatively small character sprites with very little detail on them. Heck, Sheena doesn't even have a face!

The music will likely be hit or miss for most, it's all very techno with a few "silly" tunes thrown in. At first I didn't much care for these but eventually they grew on me and now the first level song always gets me pumped. I loved the techno remix of the classic Castlevania theme, that was a nice touch. 

Sound effects are also a bit hit and miss, the explosions sound loud and distorted but it works really well, the gun effects however sound kind of weak, though the absolute worst are the voice overs, all of them are scratch, distorted and sound sped up, it's just weird to listen to.

Overall Contra: Hardcorps is an amazing game, it's fast, furious, full of content and replay value, it's Contra on steroids and it's the best run and gun game on the Genesis.

Trivia: Did you know the PAL version of Contra: Hardcorps is simply called Probotector and replaces all of the characters with robots? It also removes at least one of the endings. Now you know why I imported this version.

Pros:

- The action is fast and extremely addicting
- A lot of gameplay variety
- Tons of content and replay value with 4 characters and 6 endings
- While I didn't care for it at first, the soundtrack really grew on me
- Nice colorful graphics with some very impressive 3D effects
- Great weapon control

Cons:

- Character sprites are small and could've used more detail

- Some of the sound effects are pretty weak, voices sound really scratchy
- The music and overall graphical style is a big departure from earlier Contra games

Final Grade: A

For the most part I like the boxart here, you see one of the characters firing an exaggerated gun at giant robot, the colors and detail on the characters and backgrounds are quite nice but what is going on with his legs? They're bent in an impossible position, how is he even standing? It's like he's made of a soft rubber.

The manual is definitely above average by Genesis standards, it tells you a bit of the backstory, teaches you how to play the game and even has a few character profiles. All of this is supplemented with either screenshots or character art, unfortunately they're all in black and white. I also have to wonder how Sheena's design got past the censors, I've seen bikinis that cover more than what she's wearing.

Overall not a bad a packaging at all, I'm glad it came in a plastic box rather instead of those cheap and flimsy late Genesis cardboard boxes

Packaging Grade: B

Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure

Developer: Konami

Publisher: Konami

I was never that big of a Tiny Toons fan, I remember I'd just rather watch the old classic cartoons, though I did love Animaniacs though, as well as the Pinky and the Brain spin-off. Now with that said, is this 16 bit interpretation of the cartoon any good? In a word: meh.

The game has you control Buster (and only Buster) who looks like a younger blue haired Bugs Bunny, he controls like a mix of Mario and Sonic, basically, his jumps and enemy types are similar to Nintendo's plumber, but his speed and momentum work very similarly to Sega's Mascot.

Now, I have no problem with a game "ripping off" another title, but Tiny Toons doesn't seem to understand WHY certain features are fun or how they're supposed to be implemented. Yes, you can run like Sonic, but placing instant death spikes as soon as you reach top speeds or placing hard to see cans on the ground that make you trip and lose momentum are not good level design, they grind the game's pacing to a halt. Buster can jump like Mario, but there are no power ups, making the platforming sections rather basic, our rabbit can however wall-jump, but this rarely comes into play.

Another idea brought over from Nintendo was the overworld, which serves as a flashy elaborate level select screen, but once again, Konami seemed to have missed the point on WHY this feature worked so well for Mario. For starters, there are no secret levels (at least not to my knowledge), also, you can't pause the game to quit a level and go back to the level select screen, so I tried to kill myself but that only brought me back to last checkpoint I crossed, meaning if you want to return to world map, you have to completely waste all of your lives/reset the game and then punch in a password (there's no save feature).

Oh and speaking of passwords, if you want to view it, you'll also have to waste all of your lives, at one point I had to kill myself 7 times just so I could save my progress, what kind of bull*censored* is that?

Graphically the game has some nice spots here and there, I like the cartoony animation and some backgrounds look really good, I especially loved the sonic-inspired stages with the nice, lush forests and lakes, but then you have certain levels which feature boring, static backgrounds.

The game's soundtrack is quite nice if a bit repetitive, I liked its rendition of the Tiny Toons theme and while the other tunes aren't quite as memorable they are good enough.

Overall, Tiny Toons: Buster's Hidden Treasure isn't a bad game, but it's also not what I'd call good, I picked it up for cheap having no expectations for it and what I got was an "average" game, it can be fun in short bursts but any  more than that and it becomes too derivative for its own good. It tried to mix and match several gameplay aspects from both Sonic and Mario but it seemed to have missed the point of what made them fun. Oh Well, it's a decent game, but I wouldn't pay too much for it.

Pros:

- Graphics are quite pleasant in places
- Fun in short bursts
- The music isn't bad

Cons:

- Level design could have used some tweaking

- Takes a lot of features from Mario and Sonic but implements them poorly
- Could have used more power ups
- Becomes quite repetitive before long

Final Grade: C

For a game based on a TV show with as much imagination as Tiny Toons you'd think they'd put a little more effort into the cover, I mean look at it, it's the Tiny Toons logo between two palms trees and a patch of sand! Come on now! Are you telling me you couldn't think of a better cover?

The manual as a few short paragraphs detailing the game's backstory, it's not really needed for a game like this, but it is a nice touch nonetheless. Other than that it's the standard fare for game manuals of this time, you get a few instructions on how to play with a few black and white screenshots to serve as visual aid. Some of the pages feature simple colorless drawings of the main characters, all of them pretty lacking in detail save for Gogo Dodo, he looks pretty darn good and sticks out like a sore thumb.

Overall the packaging isn't the best, the cover is boring and while the manual has a few extras here and there, for the most part not a lot of effort was put into them.

Packaging Grade: D+

Gears of War

Developer: Epic Games/People Can Fly

Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios

Gears of War was without a doubt the Xbox 360's first killer app so it makes sense Microsoft would want to publish its finest console game onto the PC as a means to promote the unpopular service Games for Windows Live, so with that said, is the PC version any good? Yes it is... but I honestly think someone intentionally sabotaged this release, why do I say that? Oh where do I begin.

After installing the game I was faced with a DRM issue that prevented me from playing it even though I have a legitimate copy. Turns out I had to set the Windows clock to June 2008 to get it to run (wut?). After that, I discovered the game would stop responding at random intervals, sometimes it would play for hours without any issues while other times I couldn't even play it for five minutes, I tried several methods to fix it, but none worked. But enough about technical difficulties, how is the game itself?

Well, for starters, it doesn't have much of a story to tell other than you're on some planet or other with a very 1950's art-deco style which is being overrun by a horde of underground creatures known as the Locust. These hulking, lumbering creatures of teeth, bone and pale skin seem to sprout up from the ground and random and now it's up to you and Delta Squad to deliver a latch ditch blow to your enemies.

Yeah the story is pretty lame and the characters are for the most part uninteresting, though I did like Baird, the guy is snarky as hell and he seems to be the only character who's good at something other than shooting.

Speaking of shooting, how is the gunplay? In a word: Awesome! All of the weapons feel worn and rusted out while still packing quite a punch, which is a good thing considering how much your average locust can bleed without being killed, my favorite weapon has to be the chainsaw Bayonet, it gives you the option to either shoot your enemies or slice them to pieces, you also have other awesome weapons like explosive crossbows and a laser satellite homing beacon.

Gears of War does give you a good enemy variety, though you wouldn't have guessed it from the first two chapters where it seems like you're fighting the same guys over and over again, luckily the rest of the game REALLY picks up, made even better by the fact the PC port has some extra levels not found in the Xbox 360 version so overall the campaign will likely last you 8 hours, depending on your play style.

On the multiplayer side of things, you'd expect the fact that the online is free would mean you'd find at least someone to play with, but alas, no such luck, whether it's co-op or competitive online play, the servers are all empty, the PC port also doesn't have split-screen co-op so if you want to play locally you'll need to set up a lan connection...lame.

Graphically the game is pretty good by 2007 standards, the characters models still look pretty by 2013 standards, but the animations and environments definitely look dated, I also noticed the game introduced too much blur and field depth for my taste, but there was no way to turn it off in the options, instead I had to hunt down the game's .ini file and turn it off from there, again... lame.

Overall, the PC version SHOULD have been the definitive version, but honestly between DRM issues, crashes and the lack of a proper graphical setting option I have to say I was somewhat disappointed, especially because at its core the game is a very fun romp, a slow starting romp, but a fun one.

Pros:

- Gunplay is awesome
- Campaign is very fun
- Nice Enemy variety
- Character models still hold surprisingly well

Cons:

- DRM issues, crashing issues and poor graphical options

- The first two chapters are pretty boring
- Multiplayer servers are empty
- Characters and story are pretty forgetful.

Final Grade: B-

I am not a fan of the cover, the color balance is fine and quite attractive, but how come Marcus is squatting out in the open with his back turned to the action? Is he trying to get himself killed? Even if we ignore his team mates on the background who are facing the opposite direction and clearly hiding behind walls, what is the point in showing us a close-up of a character who is just not the least bit interesting?

Inside you'll find two cards one is an ad for Microsoft Sidewinder gear and the other is a free month of GFWL (hahaha!) silliness aside, I do feel the color balance works even better in these small cards, but again, why is Marcus staring at us?

The game's manual is... surprisingly good it gives you some backstory, weapon descriptions, concept art for said weapons and they go into great detail on how to play the game and its multiplayer modes, supporting the text with either screenshots or more concept art. Kudos to the developers for crafting a good manual in this day and age.

Packaging Grade: B+